A Matter of Life and Not Life

Babe, I don't mean to freak you out or anything ...







Nah, freak me out, baby! What’s up?







It’s just … we’ve only been dating for a couple of months now.







Most pleasurable 60 days of my life, honey!







We haven’t even met each other’s families yet.







Relax, my family reunion’s next month. And we’ll fly out to St. Cassava island whenever we—






That’s not the name of my country.







… Oh, pardon me, love. We’ll fly out to St. Coconut—







Nope. Try again.







St. …







Crunkinator??







St. Croix!!







Oh, right—right. We’ll catch a flight out to the Bahamas whenever we—







It’s not in the Bahamas!







Oh, pardon me … the Jamaican islands—







IT’S NOT JAMAICA!!!







Now that I’m thinking about it … Is there just a ferry or something we can catch out there? Might be cheaper than airfare.






...















...





























My period’s a week late.







SSSCCCRRRREEEECCCHHHHH!!!



Beau, what are you doing?







Bustin a U’ie. I’m pretty sure I saw a Groger market about two miles back.







On a one-way street??!







Please, pum’kin, don’t break my concentration with mere legal trifles right now. This is SERIOUS!!






But we’ll be late for the Essence Festival!







Sweet cakes, this is a matter of life and … well, not life! We have to get a pregnancy test!!






WOOP!! WOOP!!



Beau, a patrolman’s behind us ... gunning his engine in reverse!







Great! A DWB incident at a time like this! I’ll pull over to the shoulder.







“DWB”??







… Oh, right. I forget sometimes that despite appearances, you’re West Indian, not African American … Well, I guess you’ll get to experience it firsthand.





… Um, babe, why are you putting your hands in the air?







Whatever happens here, Barbara, promise me one thing … that you’ll keep our baby safe.






Beau, there’s no guarantee that—







Please, honey, I need to concentrate … Channeling Morgan Freeman, Will Smith, Don Cheadle … all loveable Negroes.






Babe, what are you—?







I’m getting in the zone.